Conan - Shut Up & Sit Down Review -

Conan – Shut Up & Sit Down Review

Shut Up & Sit Down
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First published on 11th Nov, 2016.

Music used: Basil Poledouris’ Conan soundtrack, Melodie by Idiotape, Incompetech’s database of royalty-free music.

Huge thanks to Valkyrie in Vancouver for their support!


  1. Thanks for talking about the sexist problems with this game, it's easy to dismiss it as "that's just conan", but it was too much.

  2. This might just be my favorite review you guys have ever done. Love the Conan attack scenes.

  3. why would you do that to the character card?

  4. 13:20 Great review…. why mention the depiction of women? No women is ever going to play that game. Let us have our fun! LOL

  5. I stumbled back on this video looking for where I'd heard that Idiotape song before and was struck by how far you guys have come as filmmakers? Like I went and watched the Railroad Ink video to compare (same time of year, but two years later) and the lighting, colour grading, sound, shot composition, even the performances and camera focus has just improved so much. This old Conan review looked a lot better in my memory.

  6. "…or stop this homicidal spinning top of a protagonist."

  7. The more videos i see from you guys, the more i'm convince you guys have something against boobs ?
    Otherwise, greats vids.

  8. You know what wild if you read the story it base on you realized how fragile he his both physical spirituality against the monster he fights. The very first Conan story he all ready King he older man and goes up against some straight terrors that truly fuck with him.

  9. In the issue of race and sex, I think everyone in Hyborea should be considered vile and ruthless (kinda like WH40k sans Tau), including Conan & Crew.
    No one's offended then, everyone's bad. And it fits with the pre-historic barbarian atmosphere.

  10. Is the board game called chess any good?

  11. Sword and Sorcery should be the genre to overly sexualize both men and women, of the bodybuilding kind of course. I don't want anyone covered up, I wanna see dem abs god damnit. It should be a crime to try and change that tradition.

  12. >Opens review celebrating Conan's nipples and phobia of shirts in general
    >"Brutes and glutes"
    >Man, those women sure are objectified

    >Sees Picts, a germanic tribe native to Scotland
    >Card depicts tanned man with headdress and body paint
    >"It's not racist because these Native Americans look like Troglodytes"
    >Calls native Scottish like native Americans, but more troglodyte
    >Also, complimenting the game for making shirtless beefcake natives

    >Sees expansion about Khitai, a faraway land where dark magic exists
    >"The entire country is nothing but Chinese dark wizards"
    >Qara Khitai was a real world empire, founded by a Chinese person but predominantly inhabited by Turkish refugees
    >Not everyone in Khitai is Chinese or a wizard
    >"Conan hates all wizards and all the Chinese are wizards"
    >Conan fights wizards, vast majority of which are much closer to home than Khitai, and does not seek out wizards based on their homeland

    Maybe just say don't buy this game if you don't care for how the Conan IP treats women, because that is an acceptable point to make? Conan stories have aged about as well as this review when it comes to female roles, but you guys normally do better than this.

  13. Ah, what a cool surprise that you did a little feature about Valkyrie!

  14. Picts were Scottish not Iroquois and the Iroquois prefer to be called Haudenosaunee

  15. Who else is weirded out by used to Matt's lack of curly hair?

  16. A great review, and I now desire this game. Disagree that Conan needs "updating"– come up with your own mythic age and heroes if you want to make it a values reflective game instead of the vision of a writer! Crom!

  17. Interesting that the "spend effort gems" mechanics actually comes from older tabletop RPGs that were trying to break the D&D mold. The 2003 Marvel RPG is one of them.

  18. Glad I saw this so I knew that the game is not for me and I'm not missing anything with the re-release of Conan in 2020 on KS.

  19. How do I get that Standard Reference Pear T-shirt? 😭

  20. The heck?!?! This is the same as Batman! And this got a positive review? You guys must reaaally hate batman

  21. Sooooo….New Kickstarter is live for a big Conan expansion and you can get the original game with the original stretch goals etc for a princely sum of wonga. Any soul left on those magic shoes or is it better left to sail on by? SU&SD updates / thoughts?

  22. Paul, where's your mask and gambeson? Those swords are heavy and hurt.

    Also, glad you guys brought up the sexist depiction of women and also the complete lack of them. Something way too many people gloss over.

  23. This game looks like it would be awesome to 'create' your own Campaign. It's like D&D in that the players are Hero's. THIS game is like D&D on steroids.

  24. You only get 2 crystals unless you decide to have a chilled one and just move and attack you get 5. I had to laugh at that. Great video got me into the game

  25. Hey Su&SD, is there a reason why you guys dit not make a review on Sword & sorcery, rise of smog or massive Darkness?

    Oh, wait. For Massive Darkness I know why you didn't.

  26. Great review, I appreciate the aside about the women and sexism. Great spotlight.

  27. Hey has anyone here read the new Conan series. If so is it good or just more rebooted trash riddled with politics.

  28. So I've waited is it worth for the expansions?

  29. What is best in life? I'll tell you the answer that a man whose name is legend gave: hot water, good dentistry, and soft lavatory paper.

  30. There is now a ks called Conan Cimmerian, check it out. Takes up far less space on the table lol.

  31. Watching these now and whatever happened to James?

  32. didn.t know u woz a HEMA chap. ok rapier and dodgy hanwei hand and a half. we all started there.

  33. Can you rename the channel to sit up and shut down?

  34. If you haven't already please review heroquest.

  35. Good new for your future selves, the Pound has out preforming the Euro. Have a pear.

  36. Plugging Brian Wood as a less sexist take did not age well.

  37. "He's sort of like a Roomba but for mortality instead of fluff"
    Best description of Conan I've heard

  38. The females are counted as objects as Conan is counted as a tool; arguably she’s wearing a similar amount of clothing as Conan. Both having unrealistic body types.
    C’mon boys. I know this video is old but this sort of woke garbage has only grown in the past years. No one cares, if they do they’re sort of idiots.

  39. I've just found a copy of the base game on sale for 40 euros.
    Needless to say that I bought it on the spot.
    Plus, "Brutes & Glutes" is how I'm going to refer to Conan in his every iteration from this moment onward

  40. I recently read something on Twitter that I realised is relevant to the changes made to the enemies in this. Depicting human cultures as monsters is in a way, more racist than simply depicting then as is, as it dehumanises them while keeping the culture and aesthetics tied to them. Both the "dark sorcerer's" and Picts look like they're still wearing the trappings of the original races/cultures, but are now monstrous. Just a thought.

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